Separation anxiety is a normal part of your child’s development, not a sign of something wrong. Understanding the stages can help you support your child with confidence and calm.

Separation anxiety is a natural phase of development that affects most (if not all) babies and young children at some point in time. From recognizing unfamiliar faces to venturing out on their own, kids navigate these changes at their own pace. Knowing what to expect—and how to respond—can make this emotional journey easier for both parent and child. Keep reading for an age-by-age breakdown of what you might experience with your kiddos every step of the way.

Separation Anxiety at 3 Months Old

In the first two to three months, most babies are comfortable with meeting and being around people other than their parents—such as other caregivers or visitors who come by occasionally—as long as they approach gently. By three months old, your baby's senses (vision, hearing, smell and touch) develop to the point at which they know the difference between their parents/primary caregivers and other people. Your baby knows what you look like, your tone of voice and how you touch and hold them, and they associates you with the pleasure of being comforted or fed. Your baby may think of a new person as unfamiliar, which can make him them feel unsafe.

Separation Anxiety Between 3 and 6 Months Old

Many babies between three and six months of age “make strange” when they are spoken to or picked up by a person they don't recognize. Some babies react to a new person more strongly than others. This depends on how sensitive they are.

It also makes a difference whether a baby was exposed only to their parents in their first months of life, or whether they have interacted with other people.

Separation Anxiety Between 6 and 12 Months Old

At around six months of age, most babies have learned to better adjust to new people, so there isn't as much anxiety towards strangers. By this age, babies have formed a strong mental picture of their parents. This helps them to feel comfortable and safe. It also helps when your baby is able to be comforted by other caregivers, and to cope when parents are not around for small periods of time.

Separation Anxiety Between 12 and 24 Months Old

Between year one and year two, children start to explore on their own, away from their parents. At first, they do this for short periods of time, without actually losing sight of their parents.

Parents are a small child's anchor to security. When a child explores farther away from their parents and realizes their parents are out of sight, they may become afraid and cry. This may continue even after they are reunited with a parent or caregiver.

Separation Anxiety Between 2 and 4 Years Old

Between two and four years, children become less sensitive about being separated from their parents. A child at this age can venture farther away from their parents without getting upset.

A child's level of comfort depends on how adventurous or how sensitive they are. It also depends on the child's past experiences and whether their general parenting style of their parents is calm or anxious.

Whether or not a child is separated from a parent in a familiar place also makes a difference.

The older a child is, typically the less separation anxiety they have—but this isn't always the case.

In this age group, some children may experience stronger separation anxiety when they start going to a daycare or nursery school. This may also happen if there are changes in the family, such as a move to another house. It takes some time for children at this age to adapt to a new situation, especially when unfamiliar adults are in charge, when they meet many other children or when they are in large, noisy surroundings to which they are not accustomed.

Separation anxiety may also happen at bedtime for some sensitive children. These children may be afraid of the dark, have crying spells, want a parent beside them when they're falling asleep or want to get into their parents bed during the night.

Some children of school age or younger worry about where their parents are, about why a parent may be late to arrive home or about what could happen to parents when they are away. This is another form of separation anxiety.

Managing Separation Anxiety for All Kids

You may not be able to change your child's natural sensitivity to being separated from you, but you can try to help them feel less anxious. Give these tips and tricks a try.

  1. Try to arrive at daycare or return home when your child expects you to—especially for the first little while. When you're late, it can make anxiety worse, but coming on time helps to shore up feelings of security.
  2. Take it slow when introducing new scenarios. It's important not to overprotect your child, but it's also crucial to keep your child away from too many situations that are more likely to cause anxiety. 
  3. Try to prevent compounding stress for your child when you can. For example, try not to move to a new home in the middle of a school year, change babysitters and introduce a new pet all at the same time.
  4. It's so important for you and your child to be close, but make sure you also give your child time away from you, too. This is an important part of teaching your child independence.
  5. Try not to show too much anxiety around your child. If you worry out loud constantly, they may start to think that there is something they should worry about, too.
  6. Let your child explore and experiment. This is how they learn that it is okay to try new things and to take measured risks.
  7. Show your child that you know when they feel anxious and reassure them. Try not to react with anxiety yourself. The best way to help your child feel reassured is to react in a calm, realistic way. Your child's paediatrician can offer suggestions if you have concerns about your child's separation anxiety.

Updated in June 2025. Originally published in March 2007, written by the late Dr. Katerina Haka-Ikse, M.D. F.R.C.P.(C), F.A.A.P. Dr. Haka-Ikse was a developmental-behavioural paediatrician, an associate professor (emeritus) at the University of Toronto and an honourary staff physician at The Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto. She passed away in 2017 after a brief illness.