Research shows that holding high expectations for all kids can shape how they see themselves—and how well they succeed. Here’s why it matters for children and how parents can help.
My 12-year old daughter Elyse has Down syndrome, and I remember well the day parents were invited into her French kindergarten classroom for a celebration and student performance. My expectations were high.
The three- and four-year-old students put on a production of The Three Little Pigs. We parents sat around the rug in a semi-circle on too-small chairs and stifled our laughter and adoration as the actors appeared in their costumes. What became quickly apparent to me was that while the other kids were preparing to play a part, my daughter Elyse’s job was to hand out the scripts. Elyse hadn’t been given a starring role, or any acting role for that matter.
As the play began, Elyse refused to be left out. She embodied the line from Dirty Dancing—“Bobody puts baby in a corner.” When “the wolf” appeared, Elyse jumped in and imitated the actor. She growled when the wolf growled, at every little pig’s house, in every scene, until the teacher was somewhat flustered by her duplicate unwanted wolf. Elyse was born a comedian, and she’d found a willing audience. The parents snickered at her antics, “She wants to be the wolf!” one of the parents plainly pointed out in an amused tone.
Inclusion and Dignity for All
As her mom, while I could appreciate my daughter’s humour, I didn’t find the situation very funny. I wondered, why hadn’t she been chosen to play the wolf? Or given any role at all? Clearly, she was into acting. The message I received was that the teacher didn’t think Elyse could handle a role—at least not in the way she wanted the part to be played. But what was the purpose of this exercise, if not an opportunity to perform? Shouldn’t every student be given the opportunity to shine? Unfortunately, this type of exclusion has been a common occurrence throughout Elyse’s school and life experiences to date. In this instance, Elyse took matters into her own hands, but she shouldn’t have to be the one to fight for her own dignity.
Our Expectations Impact Performance
I later came across a body of research that suggests that the expectations of those in positions of authority—such as parents, teachers and coaches— have a huge impact on a child’s actual performance and level of achievement. Known as “the Pygmalion effect,” holding positive expectations can lead to improved performance in others—even without actual differences in inherent abilities. One fascinating study that I first heard about on Invisibilia’s podcast hit home for me when I considered that my daughter with Down syndrome is constantly underestimated.
Consider the Rosenthal Study and High Expectations for All Kids
The famous 1960s study on experimenter bias was conducted by American psychologist Robert Rosenthal. He told a group of experimenters they were to time laboratory rats to run through a maze, but his secret motive was to look at human psychology and to test the experimenters themselves. The experimenters were told they were training two different sets of rats: the “maze dull” (less smart) rats and the “maze smart” (smarter) rats to run through a maze as fast as they could. What the experimenters didn’t know was that, in reality, these were all the same rats that were neither smart nor dull. The results were astounding and revealing. Perhaps, not surprisingly, the labelled “maze smart” rats performed much better. They ran twice as fast compared to the “maze dull” rats on the timed maze runs—but why?
What Rosenthal observed watching the experimenters gives us great insights into the importance of setting high expectations. Inadvertently, the experimenters who thought they were handling the “maze smart” rats handled them more gently and for longer; they encouraged the smart rats more by engaging with them and unwittingly gave them better treats. This preferential treatment led to better maze performance. Conversely, the “maze dull” rats were handled less and treated more roughly, and they also received less praise and treats, which in turn, led to poorer maze performance. What’s important to remember in all of this is that these were the same standard lab rats: neither smart nor dull. There was no inherent difference between the two groups. It was the way the rats were treated, and the expectations of the experimenters, that impacted their actual performance.
The Human Implications and What Parents Can Do
We can generalize Rosenthal’s results to people, and the implications are clear: If a teacher or other authority figure believes in a student, that student is likely to perform better. Conversely, if they hold low expectations for that same student, the student is likely to perform worse.
As parents, there are a few things we can do to address the findings of Rosenthal’s study. We can check our own biases. We can make sure we are not the one holding our child back because of our own fears or doubts. We can set high and realistic expectations and follow through on providing any support our child may need to get there. (For great examples, check out the 2024 Coordown campaign, supported by the Canadian Down Syndrome Society, “Assume That I Can So That Maybe I Will”, that highlights some of the societal barriers individuals with Down syndrome face.)
Accountability
We can hold others accountable. The best way to find out what kind of expectations your child’s coach or teacher or educational assistant has for your child is to have a conversation with them. Ask, and then make sure you’re on the same page. Better still, if your child is at risk of being underestimated because of their disability and the unconscious bias of others, set up regular conversations to help steer expectations. Ask questions like, what are your goals for my child? What do you think they are capable of? How will learning be assessed?
Being Your Child’s Advocate
As a parent and former classroom teacher, at the beginning of each school year, my goal is to help set a tone of positivity and productivity that will set my daughter up for success. I meet with the educational team to have a conversation about Elyse’s strengths and challenges as a learner. “Here are some of the challenges she faces,” I tell them, “and here are her strengths.” I make sure they understand she has strengths (many of them!). How can those working with her capitalize on her strengths and help to address some of her challenges? What goals and high expectations are we going to set for Elyse this year? Then I follow up. And follow up again.
High Expectations for Every Child
It isn’t up to my daughter to convince the rest of society that they should hold high expectations for her; it's our job to both embody and hold others accountable as the adults who surround her. We must hold our expectations high for every child, because that is where we want them to go. My Little Wolf knew her worth—I just wish we lived in a world where she didn’t have to be the one to recognize it.
