When you’re raising a toddler and they suddenly hit a picky eating phase, you might initially feel shocked and betrayed. “What happened to my adventurous baby who would eat anything?!” you think. But after consulting your parent friends, you discover it’s practically par for the course in the toddler years. So, you buckle up and decide to wait patiently as you ride this phase out.
But what happens when you hit the school-age years and they still haven’t outgrown picky eating? Or what if you miraculously escaped the toddler picky eating phase and it suddenly hits in elementary school?
We can help. Let’s tailor some picky eating strategies specifically for those school-aged kids! Because we know that the fun food games that might work for a toddler probably aren’t going to land the same way with your older kiddos.
Maybe it’s picky eating—or maybe it’s iron deficiency
First things first: Rule out a common nutritional cause for picky eating—iron deficiency. The body’s iron status can alter the production of ghrelin, a hunger hormone. The result? A decreased appetite. Additionally, iron deficiency can alter taste perception, which can further suppress one’s appetite. In a recent analysis by Health Canada, 10 percent of boys and 12.5 percent of girls aged five to 13 experienced iron deficiency.
Beef is one of the best food sources of highly absorbable iron. Thankfully, there are a lot of kid-friendly ways to prepare beef, from tacos and kabobs, to stews and spaghetti sauce. Pork, poultry, fish and shrimp contain this form of iron to a lesser extent. Vegetarian foods like eggs, nuts, seeds and legumes also contain iron, but this form is less absorbable.
If your resident picker eater is not consuming adequate amounts of iron-rich foods, you may want to consult their primary healthcare provider to get their iron status checked. Typically this includes a physical assessment and a simple blood test.
Avoid after-school grazing
Dinner is the meal where most parents report frustration. There are a few reasons why kids tend to have lower appetites for supper:
- They often front-load their day and eat more at breakfast and lunch.
- There tends to be more variation in the dinner rotation, which means the offerings are often less familiar to kids.
- They’re tired. After a long day at school learning, some children feel really wiped by the time dinner arrives and they don’t have the tolerance for both new and familiar foods.
- They come home from school hangry and end up grazing on snacks until the proverbial dinner bell rings.
If this last one hits home for you, we’d recommend implementing a gentle but firm boundary on snacking. You could either keep the snacks small or opt to skip snacks altogether in favour of an early dinner.
Get your kids involved
We get it, we’re all in a time crunch and there are so many competing things that need attention, from PTA meetings and extracurriculars to or that nightly walk you want to get to. When schedules get busy, it’s easy to get into the mindset of “I’ll just do it myself” and not invite children into meal preparation.
But, it’s a missed opportunity, especially for picky eaters. So here’s a story:
In Jessica’s Mennonite tradition, there’s a beloved recipe aptly titled “meat buns.” It’s pillowy dough wrapped around seasoned ground beef and baked to perfection. Her kids were always hesitant to eat them. Until she roped them into helping her make ten dozen of them! She put on a podcast to listen to and they all enjoyed time together filling and shaping the buns. Jessica really just wanted help with this task, but what she got was something better—buy-in! Ever since, her kids ask for them often and it’s officially one of their favourite meals.
So, we know first-hand that children are more likely to try foods if they’ve been involved in the preparation. That’s a whole new level of intrinsic motivation to can tap into.
Depending on your child’s age and ability, here are some ways they can be involved in food preparation (note that this list isn’t exhaustive):
- Crack an egg (watch out for eggshells!)
- Season meat
- Scoop and measure
- Cut/slice ingredients
- Assemble meals such as layering lasagna, sandwiches, casseroles, tacos, etc.
- Roll meatballs or energy balls
- User a cookie or muffin scoop
- Tear lettuce
School-aged children are also cognitively ready to help with meal planning.
A simple way to start?
Each week, let your child choose one dinner to add to the family meal plan.
It may not seem like much, but this small act has a big impact:
- It gives your child a sense of ownership and responsibility.
- It teaches them that meal planning is a shared effort.
- It shows them that everyone's preferences matter—sometimes we eat their favourite and sometimes it’s someone else’s turn.
Family meals and modeling
When picky eating drags on into the school years, it’s easy to fall into the trap of removing “rejected” foods entirely from your family’s meal rotation. But this is actually one of the biggest mistakes we can make. Why? Because kids can’t learn to like a food they’re no longer being exposed to. Exposure—without pressure—is foundational and one of the most effective ways to help kids expand their palates.
This is where family meals become incredibly valuable. When a child sees their family members—especially parents—enjoying a variety of foods, it sends a powerful message. They start to see you experience joy from meals and will eventually grow up to enjoy those same foods. So even if your child doesn’t touch the beef-and-veggie stir-fry on their plate today, simply seeing it, smelling it and watching you eat and enjoy it is working its magic behind the scenes.
The bottom line
Picky eating isn’t just a toddler phase—for many families, it lingers well into the school years. And that can feel frustrating, especially when mealtimes turn into daily battles. But take heart: With these intentional strategies, you’re laying the groundwork for raising a confident, competent eater.
Do what you can to stay consistent with food exposure, modeling enjoyment at family meals, involving your kids in the kitchen and ensuring they’re meeting key nutritional needs (like iron!). This way, you’re creating an environment in which to raise a happy, healthy eater.
Jessica Penner, BSc, Registered Dietitian
Nita Sharda, BSc, Registered Dietitian
Combined, Jess and Nita have four children and over 28 years of experience working as registered dietitians. Their mission is to help parents feed from a place of love, trust and confidence so they can raise happy, healthy eaters. Visit happyhealthyeaters.com for more information.
