My daughter, Kelly, moved to New York City soon after graduating, marrying her college sweetheart, Dave. I thought, “Well, New York isn’t that far; we’ll still see each other often!” But life had other plans. As a widowed and remarried mom of two adult children and two stepchildren, navigating distance became more challenging when Kelly announced she was pregnant. Suddenly, I longed to be there for her as she embraced motherhood — and for little Charlie, who is now five! This is when I was forced to learn how to make grandparenting from afar a little easier.
Around the same time, my stepson Craig and his wife Lisa welcomed their first child, Oakes, just two days after Charlie. With Oakes living in Toronto, the first year was especially tough due to the COVID lockdowns. I remember those early visits — peering through windows and waving hello, wishing I could scoop him up in my arms instead.
Being away from my grandchildren during these pivotal moments has been heart-wrenching. There were birthdays, milestones and everyday joys that I missed. Each missed hug or shared laugh created a little ache in my heart. But through it all, I’ve learned that love knows no distance.
I remember this chat with Kelly about what we wanted our names to be. The first spark of inspiration? Shannie! It’s like Grannie but with a Shannon twist. My dad and brother always called me Shannie, but then I discovered that Shammie rolled off the boys' tongues much easier. And just like that, Shammie was born! And then there’s my husband, Bob—he’s now affectionately known as Bobbo! The boys picked that up way before they could manage Shammie.
Leaving New York City after my first two weeks with Charlie was one of the hardest goodbyes I’ve ever faced. I wished I could have helped Kelly recover after her C-section and be there for every little moment. Then, when COVID changed everything, our plans for visits were turned upside down. As with most people, it felt daunting, yet I clung to the hope that I could still connect with my grandson — even if it was through a screen.
Thank goodness for FaceTime! Although I couldn’t be there physically, seeing Charlie grow through those digital visits was a gift. I remember the thrill of watching him take his first steps, hearing his first words, even if it was digitally. Family and friends often asked how we were managing, and I reassured them that as long as he could see and hear us, he’d know who we were when we finally reunited.
Despite the distance, I cherish our weekly FaceTime calls. Charlie excitedly tells me about his school adventures, shares stories about his friends, and proudly shows off his latest toys. While I miss those spontaneous visits, scheduling our calls helps create a routine, making it easier for both of us. Weekend mornings are our special time, and I always look forward to those moments of connection.
When I do get to visit, it’s a celebration! We count down the sleeps, building excitement for our time together. Those first hugs when I walk through the door? Absolutely priceless! I strive to make every visit memorable, whether we’re baking muffins, exploring the seaside, or simply cuddling and enjoying our time together.
Though grandparenting from afar has its challenges, it has taught me the power of love and connection. Each goodbye is tough, but I know we’ll see each other soon — whether through a screen or in person. This journey reminds me that while distance can separate us physically, it can never diminish the bonds we share. In the end, it’s all about the love we nurture, no matter the miles between us.
Shannon (Shammie) is the proud grandmother of 4 little boys. Charlie, 5 (NYC), Oakes, 5, Alfie, 20 months and Cameron, 9 months (Toronto).
