Surviving chaotic large family gatherings during the holidays requires more than just patience—it takes strategy. Here are our top tips for keeping the holiday spirit high and the stress low.
Whether you’re attending or hosting, I know exactly what large family gatherings at the holidays feel like (read: total chaos). My immediate family, with parents, siblings, cousins, etc., is nearly twenty people. Yes, that means there’s a giant turkey to cook, but it also means that that my mom’s house transitions into bedlam as the day goes on. There are lots of giggles, so much loud talking (we are not a quiet family) and, somewhere in the background, Christmas music playing.
I wouldn’t change a thing, but I admit large family gatherings can be overwhelming.
The good thing is that, over the years, we have learned how to keep the merriment levels high and the emotional overload as low as possible. Here are some of my tried-and-true ways to get through a large family gathering without losing the holiday spirit.
Assign Tasks to Everyone
Give everyone in attendance a task—it helps when everyone chips in. It also means that the host doesn’t feel like their day is spent cooking and cleaning up after everyone. Dishwashing time is just spent chatting, and setting the table is a breeze when there are multiple helpers.
Have an Agenda for Large Family Gatherings
It’s tempting to think that the entire day will just unfold as it will, and that everyone will enjoy themselves, but the fact is that having a bit of a schedule helps to keep a lid on overtiredness, meltdowns and cases of the hangries.
Know when littlest guests need to nap or be in bed for the night, and time main events accordingly. In our family, this means that we do separate gift giving times for kids and adults. Because we like to follow the tradition of opening one gift at a time (and we all take turns), it takes a bit longer, so we tend to let the kids open their gifts first before dinner. Then, the adults exchange gifts later in the evening when kiddos are either in bed, occupied with their own gifts or playing with cousins. Talk to everyone in the family in advance to see what schedule will work best for all.
Play Some Reindeer Games
In years past, before kids, we used to play rambunctious games of cards, or create a karaoke lounge. When kids entered the picture, we continued to play, but in family-friendly ways that could involve them too. We have on game in particular that involves a wrapped prize, oven mitts and dice (full credit to my sister for introducing us to this). The group of us sit around the table taking turns opening a multi-layered wrapped gift while wearing the oven mitts and rolling dice. It turns into a lot of loud fun that kids and adults alike look forward to each year.
Having a game or two to play breaks up the day and may also start a family tradition that lives on for years to come.
Take a Moment for Yourself
If you spend your entire day cooking, cleaning and trying to make sure everyone has a good time, you may find you don’t have the best day (it’s a lot of work to host a major holiday!). So, instead of knowing you’re going to hit burnout at some point, find moments to sit with loved ones and listen to the laughter and stories in the room. Perfection isn’t the goal of large family gatherings during the holidays—time with each other is. The to-do list and cleaning up can wait. And remember, there’s nothing wrong with planning a very quiet Boxing Day to enjoy some peace and quiet. You’ve earned it.
