Before grandparents take the wheel for school runs and activity drop-offs, there are a few important safety questions parents should be asking. Grandparenting Unfiltered columnist Kathy Buckworth dives into this sensitive subject.

In this article, we cover:

  • How to assess whether grandparents’ driving skills are still safe and comfortable for kids
  • What parents should confirm about vision, hearing and age-related driving requirements
  • Why car seat rules may have changed—and what grandparents need to know
  • What to check when it comes to vehicle safety, winter readiness and maintenance
  • Why roadside assistance and emergency kits matter when kids are in the car

Many grandparents are involved in the day-to-day care of their grandchildren, and that care can sometimes involve school or daycare pick up, drop off at activities and lessons or bringing kids back to Grandma’s house for a sleepover.

And this all sounds wonderful and supportive. But underlying all of these good intentions is one hard fact: Should Grandma or Grandad be driving your grandkids around? Is it safe?

Parents should be running through these questions before putting grandparents on the Approved Driver List.

Do they have a good driving record and is their driving still sound?

Get in the car with them and go for a drive. Make sure they know why you're doing it, and reassure them that you would “test” anyone that you would trust to drive your kids around. Go on routes that they might likely take with your kids. Then, if you feel comfortable with their driving, have the conversation with them about whether or not they even want to drive the kids. They might not want to. But if they do, and if you're not comfortable with their driving skills, it's your call to let them know you won’t be asking them to take the wheel.

Most provinces, including Ontario, require drivers aged 80+ to pass a driving test every two years to maintain their driver's license. This test includes an education session, a vision test and a cognitive screening test. If they haven’t reached the age of 80, or haven’t been tested recently, it’s important to ensure that hearing and vision are good. Also, many people as they age prefer not to drive at night. Confirm with the grandparents whether this would be a restriction for them—particularly in the winter when it gets dark early.

Before grandparents take the wheel, do they know all of the safety rules around car seats? 

Some grandparents might be surprised to learn that car seats expire. Make sure that, if they are buying or borrowing a “new to them” car seat, it is still within the expiry timeline. They should have an expert (or a well-versed Mom or Dad) install the right size car seat(s) properly and be shown how to make sure the kids are secure. Have them show you how to buckle the kids into the car seats appropriately. Sometimes car seats can be hard to reach (for example, in the third row of an SUV), so make sure they’re accessible for the grandparents to physically reach.

Car seats are now rear-facing much longer than they were when we were young. As well, today’s advice is to not have kids in car seats with heavy winter coats or snowsuits because the straps can’t be made tight enough to prevent injury in the case of an accident. Check choosing a child car seat on ontario.ca for all the up-to-date safety and legal guidelines.

Is their car safe?

If grandparents are driving the kids in their own cars, you want to make sure everything is working well. When was their last brake check? Are there any warning lights on in the car? Do they have snow tires on in the winter? You'll want to make sure the vehicle they're planning on driving is up to date and well-maintained. You could take it in for a mechanical check up yourself if you want to feel completely confident. If they are driving your car, make sure they are comfortable with how your vehicle operates and how it drives. Show them how to fill up the gas and windshield wiper fluid, how the windshield wipers work, where the temperature gauges are, etc.

Is there a safety kit in the car in case of a breakdown? 

If they don't have one, Mom and Dad might want to offer one up. You can buy packaged safety kits at many stores (Canadian Tire, Walmart, etc), but also provide extra clothes/diapers/baby needs in case of a breakdown or heavy traffic. Make sure there is a snow brush/scraper in the car, as well as extra windshield wiper fluid and potentially a spare (empty) gas can in case of a breakdown. Check for a “real” spare tire in case of a flat.

Do they have a roadside assistance plan?

If they don't have a roadside assistance subscription, Mom and Dad might want to pay for this, as well as any additional charges that the grandparents might accrue. Making this a more official arrangement might make it easier to have a discussion should the time come when parents don't have the confidence in their parents' driving ability anymore. Take the opportunity to ride with Grandma and Grandpa at least once a year to make sure you're still confident in their road abilities.

It’s usually a tremendous help for parents to have support to drive their kids around, but the confidence level must be high, for both the parents and the grandparents. Many grandparents might have forgotten what it’s like to concentrate on driving with young children in the car, so including grandparents in the family automobile for a road trip or two might convince everyone as to whether this is the right decision.