From toddlers helping with laundry to teaching kids life skills, read on for how a viral video sparked deeper reflection on raising capable, resilient kids.
I have a kid who likes to “help.” From the time she was teeny tiny, my youngest daughter, Juliette, was happiest when she was washing pretend dishes in the tub, cooking in her pretend play kitchen or standing on a stool to stir whenever I cooked or baked. In fact, I remember when she was about three and there was no stirring in whatever recipe I was making, so I just gave her a bowl with flour and water and let her add different colours of food colouring to “cook” (a.k.a. be entertained so I could get dinner on the table).
She’s now ten and exactly the same. She loves organizing, matching up socks, using a spray bottle to clean the bathroom mirror. I never start the washer, dryer or dishwasher without asking her if she wants to press the button. It’s just her thing. It doesn’t consume her—trust me, the girl can make a mess—but she seems to get satisfaction and enjoyment out of putting everything in its place. And she comes by it honestly. I’m exactly the same way.
The Laundry Folding Video That Sparked Internet Outrage
I never thought indulging my “helper kid” was particularly weird until I came across this viral video.
In the clip, influencer Deb of @the_goddard_farm shows a T-shirt folding hack she created to get her toddler involved in folding laundry. As first glance, I thought it was genius. The folding cardboard template was almost like a game, and the activity introduced counting, stacking and gross motor skills. Jules would have loved it when she was little.
But then I read the comments, and while most of them were just the internet being the internet—it certainly didn’t look like child labour or a makeshift sweatshop to me—I did wonder if maybe the set up was triggering.
As a person who intently understands that words matter, the caption reads, “MOM HACK to get your toddler to fold their laundry.” There was no other commentary, and the video just showed a child using the cardboard template over and over, with a bubbly musical soundtrack in the background. Without context, it sounds like she expects three-year-olds to do their own laundry, which is a bit much. (In some parts of the world, they might beg to differ, but generally speaking, toddlers don’t do laundry.) The thing is, I’d be willing to bet that this kid is a helper kid like mine, and Mom just thought her child would get a kick out of the activity. Nowhere does it say that this little one is required to do this for every load of laundry, or that she gets in trouble when the chore isn’t done, or that she can’t walk away when she’s had enough. But again, trolls are always gonna troll.
But Wait…Household Responsibilities Matter
I’ve been thinking about this video for days. And while I get that the video lacked context and could be misconstrued, I also wonder if there isn’t something to it. I was raised in a household where my siblings and I were expected to chip in on household tasks. Maybe not as toddlers, but certainly by the time we were school age. I have made my bed damn near every day since I was five (save a few years in university when I would just get back into bed after morning classes). I learned how to do dishes when I was nine or ten. I dusted for my mom as soon as I could be trusted to move things carefully off of tables and shelves. I often helped to make dinner as a kid, and by the time I was in high school, I could put a meal together for my entire family of six without batting an eye. And honestly? I am so grateful that I had these life skills by the time I left home.
And while I don’t insist that my kids fold laundry a certain way, my girls (Jules and her older sister Sophie, 13) have household responsibilities too. They will clean the bathroom for me on a Saturday. They will run the vacuum and empty or load the dishwasher. They will help me to strip their beds. They will pitch in on dinner prep or pack their own lunches. They’ll put away groceries. None of it is particularly gruelling, but I need to know that I’ve taught them the skills they’ll need to live on their own.
It's Not Just About Chores—We’re Talking About Raising Resilient Kids
Resiliency is an oft-ignored value in our age of over-parenting. After 15+ years of working in parenting journalism, I still can’t figure out why that is. It’s likely the demands of our current society—where parents are expected to give and give and make things magical and easy—but I think that means we’re on shaky ground. How will our kids (and their kids and so on) learn to do…well, anything? If we always do things for them, without teaching them how to pave their own way—whether that’s doing household chores or applying for a summer job or making a doctor's appointment for themselves—then we’ll have a whole generation of adults who think they’re entitled to so much but don’t know how to give back or take care of themselves.
I didn’t expect to have an existential parenting crisis over a cute laundry folding video, but here we are. And I guess I still don’t know where I stand. I do know that context is king, that my kids will learn to do everyday tasks if it kills me, and that maybe we should all just do our best to raise good, capable humans. That last one is especially important and requires energy and commitment, but if we all divert our attention from pointing fingers at strangers on the internet, I bet we’ll find the time we need to make it happen.
