The holiday season can bring more stress than joy for many, and knowing how to reach out for help is key when coping feels impossible. Here are some important tips to help you take the first steps toward getting the support you need.
If the movies were accurate, the holiday season would be a time of incredible family dinners, unforgettable memories and the perfect Christmas tree. But, that’s not reality. We might have some of these elements sprinkled throughout our holiday season, but it can feel daunting at the best of times for many of us.
So, the question becomes, what if the holiday season is more than just a bit stressful or overwhelming? What if you are having difficulty coping altogether? This could present in a number of ways for different people, but red flags could include difficulty concentrating, a lack of motivation to complete tasks or feeling incredibly anxious or on edge. Do you find that your sleep is being affected? Your work, perhaps, or even your close relationships?
Asking for help, whether it be during the holidays or not, is not something that many of us find easy to do—especially when it pertains to our mental or emotional health.
How to Reach Out for Help During the Holidays
Here are three things to consider if you find yourself in need of support during the holiday season:
- Reframe how to ask for help. We often associate asking for help with weakness or incompetence, and we worry about being a burden; however, according to research from a team of social psychologists at Stanford University, people are often much more willing to help than we might think. In fact, allowing others to help actually leaves them feeling much happier than you might initially think.
- Know where to start. It can be hard to know how to make that first outreach, and the advice here is just to pick a place and start—wherever you feel the most comfortable. Reaching out to a trusted healthcare professional can help to point you in the right direction. Finding a counselor or therapist that works for you might take several tries, but this is completely normal and this effort will pay off in a big way. Just picking up the phone and making the appointment is often the most important step in the process. If calling a professional feels like too much, start with a close friend or family member, and allow them to support you while you decide on next steps.
- Use tools like the PHQ9 and GAD7. There are validated generalized anxiety and depression screening tools that can be incredibly helpful to your health care professional, as well as helping you to decode the different symptoms you might be experiencing. We often think of depression as just a low mood, or anxiety as just about feeling keyed up, but there are many more symptoms that go along with these diagnoses and these tools can help you to evaluate.
If you knew a loved one was suffering from anxiety, low mood, a feeling of overwhelm or an inability to cope, would you judge them for asking for help? No. Quite the contrary. You’d probably celebrate them for finding the courage. Let’s extend this same grace and compassion to ourselves. When we ask for help, we collectively decrease the stigma that so often goes along with talking about our mental health.
Dr. Shahana Alibhai is a professional speaker, family physician and mental health expert. She has worked with a multitude of organizations to help their audiences gain more clarity into their mental health. A master at blending her personal story of postpartum anxiety and the resulting shame, denial and mental health challenges, with her professional background in cognitive behavioural therapy and mindfulness meditation, Dr. Shahana is best known for her TEDx talk “Emotional Literacy for Better Mental Health.” She is part of the 262 Women’s Movement and the winner of the Canadian College of Family Practice Residency Award.
